Four Letter Nerd

Author - Cody Russell

From The Nerdery (Mailbag)

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It’s that time of week again; round 2 of our fun, yet harmless, mailbag questions. Before we get started I’d like to commend this young nerd for his enthusiastic welcome speech to Georgia Tech freshmen. Seriously it’s one of the best speeches I’ve seen. It’s funny and empowering. If you haven’t watched it, you need to. Let’s just say I will always want an orchestra to be behind me if I ever have to give a speech in the future. It really adds to the moment.

Anyway, let’s get to it.

 

 

Kari writes: How do you feel about Peter Capaldi?

 

For anyone who doesn’t know us personally, this is my wife trying to throw a wrench in the gears as none of us watch Doctor Who. Good one honey. While I’ve never watched the show (promise we will watch it together so I can become a whovian), I have seen a couple of episodes with different doctors (David Tennant and Matt Smith). While they are both completely different, they are still one in the same. They each added their own quirks to the doctor, but at the same time their wit and humor seem to be the same. I know I’m probably way off here, but just from one or two episodes from different seasons the writers for the show have not changed, and while the actors have changed and each put their little spins on the doctor, the baseline character has not changed completely. I say all this to say, from my perception, that you are either in one of two boats. You hate that Smith is gone, and you’re questioning coming back because of the new doctor or you’re optimistic about Peter Capaldi and what he could bring to the doctor and thought it was time for Smith to move on. My question is, with it being an older Doctor how many in the 18-35 year olds demographic are going to be tuned in and stay tuned in? Other than that, he seems to be a good guy. I don’t really know him. – Cody (Your loving husband)

 

 

 

Josh Davis asks: “Why don’t villains ever want to get laid?”

 

The short answer is, because they’re too distracted to see that’s an option. They’re typically too obsessed with world-domination and greed to realize that buying Mystique a couple of Blue Hawaiian’s might help them score a one night (Last) stand. Also, they’re typically very ugly or psychotic. Look at batman’s rogues gallery: Joker, Two-face, The Riddler, Penguin, Mr. Freeze. Short of hooking up with a crazed I-Write-Love-Letters-To-Serial-Killers-Because-Only-I-Understand-Them-Also-I-Have-52-cats kind of gal (which at least a couple of these guys has done), they’re just not packing the mental prowess and physical superiority to close the deal on a classy lady. – Stephen

 

 

 

 

Nathan Daugherty ponders: “In your opinions, who are the worst (for whatever reason) characters created in the DC/Marvel universes?”

 

Honestly we all had varying opinions on this, and mostly got hung up on heroes and not so much villains. We went with more popular characters that we think are terrible, just because if we mention a character like Water Wizard most people would be clueless. Here’s our answers…

 

Bill– I would have to say that my most hated superhero is Hulk. I just feel like he is a nuisance and an unneeded loose cannon in the Marvel Universe. My main problem with him is, his power only works when it’s convenient. And it seems like Marvel just gave him everything, they even once tried throwing him into the sun and that didn’t even kill him. If Hulk is on the good guys side, its just a dead give away that we are going to see the Hulk win. Marvel gave him everything, so I give him my most hated award

 

Cam– I was going to say Aquaman because Bill just loves him so much, but as I began to think about it I realized that there are some really stupid characters out there. The one that I just hated for some reason is Zatanna, the magician. Alex Ross’ Justice League run has some beautiful artwork, and her sitting there in her ridiculous top-hat/tuxedo combo was completely jarring. In one frame you have beautiful watercolors of some of the most iconic characters, and right beside them is this ridiculous lady dressed like a cheap magician you would rent for your kid’s birthday party if you hated them

 

Robbie– I’m going with Daredevil. The fact that he is blind is kind of cool I guess, but is really just ridiculous. I don’t see anything real appealing as far as his powers outside of his generic fighting skill set or heightened senses like every other superhero. Daredevil is just boring in my opinion. My answer may or may not also be influenced slightly by the recent news that Ben Affleck is the new Batman. On a side note, The Hulk is my runner up for most hated superhero.

 

Stephen—Aquaman. I know how generic it is to say that Aquaman is your most hated superhero, but I swear to you I tried to think of a character more ineffective and unnecessary. I just can’t. He communicates with fish. That’s his most renowned superpower. There’s literally no catastrophic event that would be thwarted by aquatic telekinesis. PetSmart Fish department assistant manager? Yes. Superhero? Absolutely not.

 

Cody– This is going to crush some of you, but I’m going with another “A” man. Antman. He is the land version of Aquaman. These are his powers (directly quoted from Marvel) “Has the ability to shrink to roughly the size of an ant, also can communicate telepathically with insects, and (as Ant-Man) can punch with as much force as a normal sized person” If I were picking a team of super heroes, I’d definitely want this guy. He can punch as hard as me, and can talk to roaches! Awesome.

 

 

That’s all we have time for today(because we all work 40 hour a week jobs.. except for Bill). Thanks for your awesome questions and we hope you’ll join us for our questions from The Nerdery.

Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Heisenberg

Let me ask you a question Breaking Bad fans. Has your mind just exploded yet? It seems that the closer we get to the end of an era that is Walter White, more and more of the show is revealing how complex and detailed it is. With every closing episode I watch I realize that we have all been converted from rooting for the hero to rooting for the villain, which is exactly what Vince Gilligan wanted. When this show started it had the Weeds mentality to it; a person that has been placed in a tragedy and forced to make a decision on how they survive or move on. The entire show is based on the morality of man, and the cause and effect of our decisions. Is that why it’s rating have nearly doubled in less than a year? Maybe, but I think a lot of people want to tune in just to see the end of the story (I didn’t read Harry Potter until the last book came out), I also think others watch it for the sake of seeing something they would never do. Think of the Grand Theft Auto games where you can go around and beat up police or pay for hookers. We don’t play those games to go to the grocery store and buy juice; we play them to experience the worst part of our nature without the consequences. So with that being said, I’d like to talk about Walter White and the amazingly dark and admirable character he is.

 

With the odds being that 1 in every 3 people will be diagnosed with some form of cancer in their lifetime, Walt embodies what I would think is everyone’s fear. A man just going through life and suddenly is faced with what one character calls “A death sentence.” He’s a great representation of middle class America; an underpaid high school chemistry teacher. I don’t think you could have picked a better career for this character. How many people in America have been to school for one degree or another, and ultimately feel they aren’t going to be able to one day retire. For W.W. his life expectancy is drastically shortened with his diagnosis and sends him into a rabbit hole of “I have nothing for my family after I die” and he is forced to as Gus Fring says “Find a way to provide”. While Walt has to face the monster that is cancer, it also seeded the monster that is his alter-ego Heisenberg.

 

I remember the first time we got a glimpse of Walt’s alter ego Heisenberg. It was after their first cook and Jesse Pinkman, his former student and drug dealing partner, returned with the first harvest of his sales. It was a good amount of money for any of us ($10,000 maybe, I can’t remember) but he absolutely loses his mind on Jesse. It was in this scene we see the intimidating and honestly scary side of Walter. While he hasn’t given this side of his personality a name yet, you immediately understood the desperation in Walter’s character. An “at all costs” tone in his voice it was the first dark in the light. Do you remember the scene where Skylar surprises him for his birthday and the Heisenberg comes out in front of everyone?

 

Over the next few seasons we see Walt succumb to his alter-ego Heisenberg more and more.  Think about his clothes every time he is out as Heisenberg. Usually it is his black coat, hat, slacks, and a white shirt; I like to think it is a symbol of his overtaking of Walt; the dark choices he makes internally, showing externally. I feel like by the time we reach the final episode Heisenberg will be all that’s left, there will be no Walt left for us to sympathize with, and ultimately it will be his demise. It really is a split personality. Think about Walt at the breakfast table. He’s calm, caring, and collected, even when he is fighting with Skylar. Whenever they are there together he is always trying to connect with his kids and with her. When he’s with Jesse, or Gus, or Mike, or running over people, he’s a maniac…a cold, calculated, monster.

 

 

I could go on and on about this and how Walt has developed, but I want to ask you guys what you think of him. Here are some questions for you to discuss:

 

 

Has Walt always had these Heisenberg tendencies and it just took the cancer switch to turn them on? Or has he truly lost his mind from everything he’s done?

 

When the season ends, do you think we will see any of Walt left?

 

Who is responsible for their success Walt? Or Heisenberg?

 

How do you think this will end? I’ve always felt his cancer will get him while he’s in prison.

 

Why do we watch?

Discuss.

From the Nerdery (Mailbag)

Welcome to our first ever Mail Bag! We are proud to say that we didn’t have to make any questions up, as we thought we might have to from lack of participation. Hopefully next week we’ll get a bigger turn out. At any rate. Here we go.

 

PJ inquires—

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

 

First thing I want to know is who made up this question in the first place? I feel like this question first came to life in some hole in the wall bar in Montana from a grizzled drunk old guy trying to pick up some ladies. Can’t you hear it “Heeeyyy, I got a question (hiccup) HOW mUch wood…(pauses for thought) could a WOODCHUCK chuck iF a woodC(hiccup)ck could chuck…(another pause) wood?” then gives a wink, half smiles, and falls asleep. For arguments sake, let’s say a woodchuck could chuck wood. It’s really subjective to the size of wood being chucked right?

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Look at a woodchucks arms… it could barely hold up one of those delicious hard ciders it works so hard to make. While they may be tiny, they are known to move 700lbs of dirt when digging their burrows. 700lbs!!! That’s basically the mom from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape plus another 175 pounds. Stamina is definitely on their side I would say. So if they were chucking twigs or even small branches, and let’s say those twigs averaged 0.5 pounds each, I would estimate they could chuck about 1275 pieces of wood. I say that much just because I’m sure it would need a break to eat some nuts or something and eventually just getting bored of throwing wood. SO there, now you know. -Cody

 

Shane writes —

Just tossing this out there, but with the internet and kids in general being much more informed, will it be harder to make a successful sci-fi movie about involving elements from our solar system…ie…life on Mars.

Great question.

It depends on how you like your science-fiction. Are we talking Star Trek or Star Wars? Star Trek thrives in a scientifically driven universe, while Star Wars couldn’t give two bantha poodoo’s whether or not something is possible, but both of those series are well received.

I think sci-fi works best as a setting, not a classroom. For the most part people are willing to get over the writer’s throw away science jargon as long as the story is enjoyable. For instance, Red Planet wasn’t a good movie because the story was awful. If the story was halfway decent people probably would have been more willing to believe a robotic hellhound would chase an on-his-way out Val Kilmer across the face of Mars.

Kilmer

I bet you didn’t expect a Red Planet reference.

Ultimately, if a child wants to be engaged in a particular story he/she will be. If they want to spend their time pointing out all the impossibilities in a story then they will be hard-pressed to find any fictional story enjoyable since reality is almost always exaggerated for entertainment purposes. -Cam

 

Nathan writes –

Instead of Batman vs. Superman, what about a tag team match between Bats/Supes vs. Iron Man/Thor – who would win?

The answer to this question was thrown around by several 4LN team members… it took a lot of thought, but here goes.

The two teams are almost identical to each other: Superman and Thor are both heavyweights with few weaknesses and way too much power, and Batman and Iron Man both rely on their brains (and excessive wealth) to become powerful.

Superman’s main problem is that one of his weaknesses is magic, and after a lengthy discussion on whether or not Thor uses magic to control magic as opposed to conjuring magical lightning, we think that this could pose a problem for Supes. In Kingdom Come, Shazam uses lightning to beat Superman to within an inch of his life, and is only stopped by a bit of trickery on Superman’s part. Thor would probably use the same tactic, and he wouldn’t be beaten by turning him into an 8 year old like Shazam was.

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Thor, on the other hand, is far more mortal than Superman. He isn’t nearly as overpowered is Supes, and has far more weaknesses. This fight would devolve into a knockdown drag out brawl probably ending similarly to Superman: Doomsday, in that they would just beat each other into oblivion.

This leaves us with Batman and Iron Man. Iron Man definitely has the better tech, but we still see Batman coming out on top because of his self-mastery. Tony Stark is incredibly arrogant and thinks he will always come out on top because of how awesome he is. Batman is a master tactician who would use Tony’s arrogance against him.

Arrogance is really Thor’s major problem in this battle too. His arrogance would get the better of him. Superman and Batman are a lot more level headed, which would allow them to come out on top.

Quick sidenote: not all of us here at 4LN agree that Batman would beat Iron Man.  Bill (who surprisngly hates Iron Man) feels that Stark’s technology is just too much for Batman to overcome.

Final Consensus: Superman and Batman, with Batman as the last man standing. -Cam, Cody, Stephen, and Bill

 

Well that’s it for this weeks mailbag. Send us your questions for next week. –4LN Crew

American Horror Story: Coven Teaser

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If you’ve been sitting around wondering to yourself ” When can I scare the crap out of myself?” Then October 9th should be marked on your calendars. We’re starting to see teasers for the new season of American Horror Story be sprinkled about. Here are two from the upcoming season titled Coven. As you can tell this is going to have to do with some Voodoo and Witch Craft and  should be entertaining if you ask me. I wasn’t sure where they were going to go this season, and now it seems like a no brainer. I got chills watching these. Hopefully you do to.

Pins & Needles

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTHQw0UUP6I

Detention

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE7qodqrEqY

 

 

Wizards, Pokemon, and Pigskins— Why Nerds Should Play Fantasy Football

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Look, I know your frame may be 5’7″ and 110lbs soaking wet and the most time you’ve spent playing sports is when your distant uncle convinces you to play football at Thanksgiving, ending in blood and crying, but you have to hear me out.You can DOMINATE in fantasy football. You might ask yourself “Cody, why in the hell would I play fantasy football?” Of course you’d doubt yourself; it’s what you’re used to. That’s okay I’m here to build you up.

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If you’re anything like my Mudblood self, you have a distinct fierceness when it comes to competition and you definitely understand strategy. You’re smart; you probably helped most athletes in school get by and never took credit. You have an ability to be victorious in most competitive atmospheres and enjoy the spoils. I want to show you why it’s your time for Fantasy Football. You may have never given two prune induced craps about football, but it’s time you pay attention.

First: You’re Smart—

Because of your uncanny ability to retain knowledge, you are already someone to be feared at the draft party. If you’re a master chess player, magic gatherer, Pokemon collector, hairy larper, or some kind of mad scientist wizard, you will most likely have the most detailed draft board put together based on your research. If you’re not familiar with what a draft board is, basically it’s a list of all players you want on your team. It’s just like getting picked last in sports…(cough)something I’m familiar with… you have every player lined up on your board that you think can help you win. Usually they are listed from best to not the most awesome. The tricky part of this board and selecting who you want is the other teams selecting before you. You have to really think about what players MIGHT be left when it is your turn. So really getting your team together is putting together a really strong strategy of research and assumptions. You see? Fantasy Football isn’t really about being a fan of football, it’s more about using your mind to CRUSH your friends dreams of a perfect fantasy football team. You can maniacally laugh and rub your hands awkwardly every time you steal a player off someone else’s draft board. See? Right up your alley. So you’re probably thinking “Okay, I’m a little intrigued.” Or maybe “Still not thinking about it”. Let me explain further.

Second: The Draft Party—

After you’ve spend the better part of 3 weeks studying stats and depth charts your mind is ready to explode from all the knowledge you have. The draft party is the perfect place to relinquish some of the pressure that has been building in your mind. Draft parties are usually a ton of fun. You get to hang out with your friends, try and ruin each other’s dream team, and usually eat hot wings while you do it (or soy patties if you’re vegan I guess?). Once you are actually drafting, and not laughing about the useless nipples on Batman’s suit in Batman and Robin, there is a dead silence in the room. Everyone is watching everyone like a gang knife fight or something, all waiting to take a stab and one another. The first guy makes his pick… and then…. Boom! It’s go time. Some will moan and groan with every pick. Others will calmly and precisely call out their team and never flinch (this should be you with your awesome research being done). Then there is always the one drunk guy who is saying nonsense about everything. Don’t worry about him; he’ll quit after the third game. After it’s all said and done everyone usually sits around and discusses what they had wanted to do and eventually ends up playing one kind of video game or another (Madden, NCAA, Super Smash Brothers, it all depends on the crowd).Ryan_Leaf_drunk_1-400x300

Third: You Know How to Trade—

Draft day is really just the beginning. After the dust settles, and the sore losers have gotten over their losses in the draft room, your friends will become worse than brokers on the New York Stock Exchange. You’ll start getting crazy text messages from your friends that look like your crazy ex-girlfriend wrote them “PLEZ PLEZ PLEZ Talk to me!!!!!!!! WE CAN WORK THIS OUT!!! I’LL LuV YOU FOREVER!!!!” but your strong will and inexperience with women will make it easy for you to turn down terrible offers. Plus you have more experience trading game cards than anyone in the room.

Crazy Girl Friend

Fourth: It’s All a Game—

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What makes Fantasy Football so well suited for you is it is the LONGEST BOARD GAME YOU WILL EVER PLAY, and what’s best is that all your game pieces are real people. It’s kind of like you’re the general of an army. Every week you face a new foe. Your job is to put your best battle pieces on the board, and let them hurt each other like that sweet chess set in star wars ( I always wanted one of those). I personally feel this is the BEST part of playing fantasy football. It is extremely unpredictable. You may have read every beginners guide to fantasy football and they all say to draft Peyton Manning as your first pick, then the very first play of the season he breaks his neck (knock on wood, which would be terrible). This is similar to having your favorite Magic card light on fire just before you went to a tournament. IT MAKES YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS RUINED. Luckily, you’ve already made a solid draft and have another quarterback you can throw in the game, right? In the end, it is just a big game, and is all for fun.

Fifth: You can Win Money! —

With all the previous reasons to play in your pocket, you could literally use your skills to line your pockets. Most Fantasy Football leagues are free, but there are some that may have an entry fee. For instance the one I’ll be playing in this year has a $20 entrance fee. While that may seem steep, trust me, it’s not. I’ve seen some of my friends play for $150 and win $2,000. Now they have tons of experience, and have been practicing the craft for a while, but seriously I have no doubt you could pull this off. Here’s my advice. Take this year, and maybe next, and play for free with your friends who already do. If playing for money isn’t your thing I don’t blame you. Sometimes it is just fun to win, and rub your friends’ faces in it.

Sixth: You have Help

Luckily for you, Robbie and I are here to help you build a draft and guide you through your first season of Fantasy Football. We’re not pro’s, but I feel like we can learn a lot from each other. You have a question about a player, or rules, or how you should set up your draft, don’t be afraid to send it to us. We’ll give you our best answer.

So what part of this makes you think you might want to play fantasy football?