Four Letter Nerd

Superheroes and Music: Who Does the Marvel Universe Listen To?

Yesterday my good buddy Bill (who is a —— piece of —-, and a little —– who likes to —- goats in their —–) speculated as to what real-world-music characters from the DC Comics Universe would listen to. Today, I bring you 5 characters from the Marvel Comics Universe, and the real-world-music that I think they’d enjoy. We all know that Tony Stark likes Black Sabbath and ACDC, and that the Punisher most likely prefers Megadeth, but let’s look at some characters with a tad less notoriety…

CAUTION: This man is dangerous and WANTED for crimes against animals.

 

First up on my list is none other than Hank McCoy, aka: Beast, from the X-Men. Beast has amazing strength and agility, with a brilliant mind to match. Hank is a classy fellow. I picture him lounging by a fire in his study on a cold winter night, nursing a glass of fine brandy, reading Chauser, while some well-loved classical music plays on a vintage gramophone…

Most likely Hank would enjoy composers like Bach and Beethoven, as he puffed on his smoking pipe and allowed his mind to wander to issues of Mutant equality and the dilemma of dedicating his life to protecting the humans that hate him.

But I think Chopin’s NOCTURNES would be the thing that brings him the most relaxation during these times of great thought and meditation.

 

Next on my list is Spider-Man villain, Green Goblin. The Green Goblin title has been adorned by several different people, but most famously by the father and son Osborns. In a “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” type fashion, the Osborns are both pretty arrogant and egotistical characters. Papa Osborn probably prefers The Doors, while little Osborn seems more the Babyshambles type. Recently, however, Green Goblin has been interpreted as more of a science experiment mutate, rather than a dude in a goblin mask.

So, what would a mutated goblin listen to you ask? Perhaps Tyler the Creator? Maybe… another goblin? Nekrogoblikon, to be exact. Hey, goblins gotta stick together…

 

The third character I chose for this list is someone so egomaniacal and arrogant, that he makes the previously mentioned Osborns look like saints… Someone so big-headed (literally) and cruel, that no one, heroes and villains alike, can stand to be around him… I speak of MODOK.

MODOK has a superhuman intellect and psionic abilities that, even though he’s already a monster, have allowed him to create a self-image of himself that dwarfs even the most massive of mountains. Who, in real-world-music could even come close to this kind of pompous attitude and “the world owes me something” mentality? Perhaps someone who claims to be a god? Someone like, Kanye West.

 

Fourth on my list is a character that, unless you’re a pretty dedicated comic book fan, you may not know of. Uatu the Watcher. The Watchers are an alien race that have dedicated themselves to monitoring and recording the events of the universe. Uatu is assigned to watch Earth. With very few exceptions, the Watchers do not intervene in what they witness, they merely watch it and record it for the understanding of whoever may come along after the universe ends.

So what does someone who simply watches and never interacts with what he sees listen to while he’s doing it? Well, Randy Newman seems like a fairly obvious choice due to how he was lampooned on Family Guy. But if only there were an artist who’s rumored to have written a very popular song about watching a man drown and doing nothing about it… oh wait! We’re in luck! Phil Collins did that!

 

For my final selection I wanted to choose someone who was really neither villain, nor hero. Someone who has a tab bit of moral compass, but will a cut a mother—-er’s head off in a second if need be. Someone who means business, but takes ABSOLUTELY NOTHING seriously. A mouthy “merc” so unbelievably ridiculous that you can’t help but love him. The one… the only… DEADPOOL!

And just what real-world-music would someone so absurd listen to? I mean, Deadpool is the most flippant character in all of comics, but he takes his money VERY seriously. Deadpool would obviously listen to hip-hop. But not jut any hip-hop, no. Deadpool would be a fan of the only hip-hop artist to ever be able to rival his lack of sincerity and pursuit of the almighty dollar… Ol’ Dirty Bastard.

And he’d need a song that would perfectly fit laying waste to a room full of dudes for few thousand dead presidents…

…because Deadpool is a pimp…

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Stephen Andrew

Stephen has spent most of his life reading comics, watching horror movies, listening to death metal music, and speaking in the third person. His favorite comic book character is The Punisher, and he believes that the Punisher: War Zone movie is criminally underrated. His favorite film of all-time is National Lampoon's Vacation, and his favorite album is Pantera's "The Great Southern Trendkill".

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