Four Letter Nerd

Terrible Comic Book Friends – Eddie Brock

We all have those “friends.” You know, the ones you don’t really like, but they are in your social circle so you have to put up with them. Maybe they are a friend of one of your friends. Maybe it’s someones boyfriend who is just a crappy guy, or maybe it’s a girlfriend who just sucks the life out of her boyfriend and all of his friends. We ALL know someone like this, and it’s such a struggle to put up with these kinds of people. And, have you ever stopped to noticed that these crummy people always end up being the popular ones? And this leaves you on the sidelines thinking “What…? Why doesn’t anyone else see this?!?! How is this person popular?” Well, no one knows this feeling better than everyone’s favorite neighborhood Spider-Man, Peter Parker.

Peter just seems to have THE WORSE luck. It’s that Parker Luck that everyone knows so well in our little nerd community. When one thing starts going well, there seems to be several things that come crashing down. There is no better example than the delightful, wonderful, and caring character that is Eddie Brock, better known as Venom (that was sarcasm, Eddie is neither delightful, wonderful, nor caring). A little back-story on the delightful character that is Venom… he grew up with just a father, his mom died during his childbirth and this in turn lead to his dad resenting him for his entire life. Brock spent many years trying to impress his father, whether that was through sports or academics, but his father still wont approve of him. The entire origin story is made for us to slightly feel bad for the character, but as he involves into a villain, and later an anti-hero (See 2011’s Spider-Island), we begin to see the character in a better light, but that is fairly debatable on if Eddie is still a good “friend.”

 

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Eddie HATES Spider-Man, with a passion. Our friendly Spider-Man “essentially” ruined Eddie’s life and/or carrier. Eddie was working as a journalist, similar to Peter, and working on a high profile case, Sin-Eater. He’s contacted by who he believes is the killer, but in reality it’s someone who is just a compulsive confessor. Spider-Man catches the real Sin-Eater after Eddie runs an exposé revealing that the villain is the false suspect and this pretty much ruins his career. Eddie heads to a church to ask God for forgiveness and plans to take his life, but at this moment the venom symbiote attaches to Eddie Brock and forever takes over his life (Spider-Man was at the church getting rid of said symbiote). From this moment on, Eddie becomes the epitome of  Gym, Tan, Laundry, and Getting Swole Bruh. Besides being Venom, Eddie also later works with the United States Military (as Venom), and after suffering with Cancer, Eddie becomes Anti-Venom and plans to cure the world of the Venom Symbiote that plagues him for so long.

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But even with the good AND bad that Venom has done, he’s still just a shitty “friend.” Now, he’s not exactly Peter Parker’s friend, but surly this guy has got to have some friends? Maybe he has a roommate he lives with and he’s just a dick too. You know, he would be the type of guy who would have a date with a really attractive person, but blow them off because he has to keep working out. Besides being a gym rat, I can see Eddie also being the type of guy who is WAY to confident, like, in anything he does he thinks he’s the best at it. A jack of all trades, but the master of nothing. Finally Eddie seems like the kinda guy you would find in a bar being the center of attention, he’s the alpha male. Plan and simple, he’s gotta be the biggest threat in a room, the toughest guy around, and he’s not going to listen to you. If there is a conflict while drinking, Eddie is going to solve the problem with his two best friends; left hook and right hook.

With all this being said, Eddie wouldn’t be the guy you want to run into while grabbing a drink with some friends. There will be problems when he’s around, and you’ll end up pissed off or worse. When I think of Eddie Brock, I think of Brock Lesnar. So chances are, and this is a blanket statement, if you have “Brock” in your name (And you aren’t in Pokemon) people won’t be too fond of you. (Apologies to anyone named Brock who may be reading this but, really, you should be mad at your parents.)

Who do you think is a shitty comic book friend? Let us know in the comments, and tell us why you think they are.

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Bill Clark

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