Four Letter Nerd

Comic Book Review – Guardians of the Galaxy: Galaxy’s Most Wanted #1

Writer: Will Corona Pilgrim
Artist: Andrea Di Vito
Colorist: Laura Villari

Summary from Marvel.com: “Rocket Raccoon and Groot—your favorite cosmic bounty hunters (and soon to be world-famous movie stars)—leap into action in an all-new adventure! Could it possibly happen? Is Groot attempting to arrest…his best bud Rocket? Plus: Reprinting THOR #314, featuring the Thunder God in cosmic combat with the mean, green Guardian known as Drax!”

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The Good: 

The book is very simple to read and requires almost no understanding of the character’s back-story. Also, the vintage Thor issue, featuring Drax, that they add in is kinda neat. (That’s literally all I could think of to say positive about this book.)

 

The Bad:

Can I say, “everything”? Cause… “f–king EVERYTHING”. I hate being an asshole and ripping someone else’s artistic expression to shreds (not that the next few paragraphs will convey that though), but once I’d finished reading the book I asked myself out loud, “Why does this exist?” When I said that the book is very simple to read, I was dead serious. I felt like the story had about as much depth as a Riff Raff track… which is no depth at all. None. It’s called “GOTG: Galaxy’s Most Wanted” but it should’ve been called “Rocket Raccoon and Groot Do Some Stuff And Then Nobody Cared”.

The colors and artwork weren’t bad, but they weren’t good either. They didn’t add anything special to the book really, but the depictions of Rocket and Groot were ridiculous (or at least, the most amount of ridiculous as you’re allowed to accuse someone of making a talking raccoon and a giant tree monster). Groot just looked like Drax but made of bark and wood. He had HUGE TRAP MUSCLES. What?! He’s a sentient tree, not Bill F–KING Goldberg. And Rocket… god help me, Rocket… He looked like Mr. Badger from “The Wind in The Willows”, whom, as you may know, IS NOT A GODDAMN RACCOON! Because, as him name suggests, HE’S A F–KING BADGER! (I think the more I talk about it the angrier I get… or it could just be the aggressive influence from the new Every Time I Die album that I’m currently listening to.)

Worst of all though, the characters are written in a way that they don’t even remotely resemble their typical selves. Rocket has ZERO clever, sarcastic lines, and Groot behaves like a creepy, bus-depot-bathroom Hodor. I would put this book in my kids’ comic box where it most likely would get torn up and chewed on by my 1 year old daughter, but I don’t want to take the risk that one of my boys or their friends might pick it up and read it and think that this is what Rocket and Groot are really like.

“What the krutack did you say about Mr. Badger?!”

 

The Final Say:

Is this really even necessary? I think the above rant sufficiently captured my feelings. 0 out of 4. Look, I love these characters. I really do. They’ve been awesome in the main GOTG series and I’m so pumped for the movie to come out I can’t stand it. But this… this is unnecessary. They, and we, deserve better. Don’t waste your money. Buy two copies of Skottie Young’s Rocket Raccoon #1 instead!

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Stephen Andrew

Stephen has spent most of his life reading comics, watching horror movies, listening to death metal music, and speaking in the third person. His favorite comic book character is The Punisher, and he believes that the Punisher: War Zone movie is criminally underrated. His favorite film of all-time is National Lampoon's Vacation, and his favorite album is Pantera's "The Great Southern Trendkill".

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